If we all have an aim in life, finding a partner for life is probably that aim. Don’t lie. Like Dexter, everyone feels at one point in their life that need to want someone to be with through all life’s great trials and tribulations. But, if this the case, then why do I sit there everyday and wonder why most people bother?
For example, a close friend of mine for the ENTIRETY of this year, has driven me insane over her problems concerning a certain gentleman that showed her affection. Sorry to use such archaic language, but hey, it’s fun to use right?
You may recognise her. Because I’m pretty sure all of you reading have a friend similar. The girl who never had a boyfriend, because she claims she’s only recently become attractive after losing weight. The fact she’s never done anything sexually related. The fact that she doesn’t know what to expect in a relationship, or ‘how the system works’. The first one is ridiculous to me because she’s absolutely stunning. The second one is nothing to be ashamed about. Waiting for the right person is a good thing that we need to encourage in our society more. As for the third, I can’t help but mention how many times I told her that it’s not about knowing- it’s all about how it feels. When I met my boyfriend, we both went with our instincts and how we felt about each other, and now we’re 8 months in and ridiculously happy.
However, she over thought it. He was bad with communication. They wouldn’t talk to each other about their feelings. She wouldn’t go on a date with him. He claimed to lose interest as she started gaining it. They never tried, in other words. The same old excuses over and over again. The possibility that dissolved through their own hands because they failed to communicate how they felt. We all know the story- we’ve seen it, if not been in it ourselves. I personally fall into the first catergory, which is why I was an asset to her in learning what she should do in the future- NOT PANIC!
As Sheldon Cooper would say, if ‘coitus’ had occured, things may have been different… But I can imagine that would have not necessarily been a good thing. It does make you wonder though how tough it is to actually ignite a relationship. Among all the hard to get, there is a limit, particularly with men’s wondering eyes…
This is no surprise. Men supposedly have genes that supposedly suggests that they were not originally set out to be monogamous. Now, this may not be true, but before society truly began, men used to sleep with many women just to continue survival. Now, seeing as our beliefs and morals have changed, men do comply with this, but still have a hormonal gene that encourages them to occasionally stare at other women. Now, for example with my friend, her ‘interest’ mentioned other girls and she would get angry. I did think this was wrong as she should have shown interest earlier on, instead of lead him on. But, after a conversation with my boyfriend, it suddenly made sense. Just because men look at other women does not mean they desire them. Sure, they look because their hormones encourage- but they don’t want to. My boyfriend said that because he was in love with me, he didn’t want to look at other women, overriding those genes.
Now, that doesn’t give men an excuse to cheat and blame their genes, saying ‘Oh, I can’t help it, it’s genetically complied within me’. No, that’s no excuse. But likelihood is that if you’re in a truly loving relationship, they won’t do it. They love you.
So, when my friend moaned about some ‘Arianna’ her interest was chatting about, I felt as though I could scream to the world. Just because he’s looking or talking about other girls does not mean he is interested. If men look at other women, give them the benefit of the doubt that they may not be interested at all. Just looking because their genes are telling them that is what they should do. They can overide it.
Just to reflect, next time a friend is complaining about a potential interest, remind them that men are not as complicated as they want you to think the are. And they are not always looking to attract. Just looking. Yes, she may be attractive. But they’ll never see her again, and they may not even be thinking of her figure. Maybe they’re actually thinking ‘God, her leggings are HIDEOUS.’
Plus, it’s like Einstein, total babe, said- sitting with a pretty girl feels like a hour within a minute. They can only feel that about one person, who they can build that ONE special connection with. Looking good is one thing, but having that personality- that is what defines intrigue from interest. And I want to tell my friend is, if she plays her cards right, that may be her one day. Just have a little sympathy. Men aren’t all bad…